Thursday, June 28, 2012

Summer reading and family dysfunction | Complex Mom

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The catalogs and magazines are piling up around here as I have had my nose stuck in a few good books of late and haven?t been able to even take them out of their packages.

I?ve decided that, instead of doing a book list, I?ll just share what I?ve read with you and tell you if I liked it or not.

Most recently I read Some Assembly Required:? A Journal of My Son?s First Son by Anne Lamott.

Lamott is one of my favorite authors because she is totally damaged from a horrible childhood and shares her experiences in a tastefully entertaining way.

This book is no exception.? She handles the fact that her son got his girlfriend pregnant at the tender age of 20 with complete grace and fortitude.? And without judgment.? Which, to me, is miraculous.

In the course of journaling about her unexpected grandson?s first year of life, she offers reflective snippets of her own experience as a single mother.

There are so many things I did right as a parent:? times we spent playing and building with Legos and blocks on the floor;? all those card games at the kitchen table;? creating a relatively low-stress home, without a man with whom to quibble about arrangements, money and whether we were having enough sex.

And the way describes loving a grandchild is so touching and sweet.? She becomes obsessed with spending time with him, but she also learns when to back away and leave her son and his girlfriend alone.

This family business can be so stressful?difficult, damaged people showing up to spend time with other difficult, damaged people, time that might be better used elsewhere?yet out of that some accidental closeness, laughter, some pieced-together joy.

Sometime when we read accounts of familial dysfunction, it becomes uncomfortable and awkward.? But this book is not like that at all.? Lamott strikes the perfect balance between telling us as much as we want to know without making us feel like creepy voyeurs.

The whole way through the book I wanted the big question answered, ?So, did the girlfriend and her son stay together through that first year??

I won?t spoil it for you, but that question is definitely the one that keeps you turning the pages quickly; it is also the question that prompted me to finish this delicious piece of memoir in one day flat.

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